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Just because you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself I’m deprived of affection. I really wish you weren’t so stuck up and more comfortable with nudity! I really wish mom was still here!” Ava continues to cry. I can’t stand seeing her like this. I need to pull myself together.“Ava, you mean everything to me you know that.” No response from Ava. “I’ll give it another shot, alright?” Ava still doesn’t respond. Her eyes are closed, surrounded by tear stains. She’s still upset. I’m realising I still need to finish the bed-bath: “But first I need to finish your bed-bath, honey. Then we can-“ Ava interrupts and bursts out: ”That’s exactly what I mean! Why do you first need to finish the bed-bath? It's so sterile, affection-less! Can’t you just cuddle with me and wash me while cuddling? I think you just don’t get this!” Ava turns away from me lying on her side in foetal position.“I’m sorry, Ava. I didn’t mean to upset you. This is all new to me. I’m a bit slow to learn, be patient with me,. I took my helmet off when she did, tucking it under my arm and looking a question at her. She said nothing for a minute, and I saw a range of emotion, doubt, affection, indecision and finally regret, cross her face."Liv," I said gently, "what do you want to say?"She laughed and looked up at the leaves of the tree under which we had stopped. "Want?" she asked. "I don't think so. Need to, though? Yup." She looked back down at me. "John," she said seriously. "I'm enjoying things with you, but if we're going to break this off, we need to do it soon. I'm starting to get addicted to it, you, us."I sighed, a bit sad now that the moment was here. I'd known this day was coming from the very beginning, but I had come to care for Liv, and this was harder than I'd expected. "I was afraid of that, Liv. I don't want to hurt you, but as much as I've enjoyed our time together, you were right when you said that we would never work long term." Yeah, I know," she said, bright eyed. "Still, I hate it.
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